I understand the university has entered into a partnership with Cyberdyne Systems. What does this mean exactly?
Thanks to the support of visionary venture capitalists working tirelessly to usher in an age of equality and prosperity, Cyberdyne is building Skynet, a neural network on the brink of achieving something tech…
New and Exciting Anxieties Gifted to Me by My Three-Year-Old
The time I said, “Hey buddy,” to my wife, and my daughter responded, “She is NOT a buddy.”
The time on vacation when she said, “We are going to dinner AGAIN? We are going to ANOTHER restaurant?”
The time she was whimpering and her mom asked her if she…
In Our Glorious AI Future, There Will Be No Such Thing as Money (For You)
“A.I. capacity may soon displace oil or enriched uranium as the resource that dictates the global balance of power. [Open AI’s C.E.O.] Sam Altman has said that computing power is ‘the currency of the future.’” — The New Yorker
Gather around, everyday working people, and allow me…
A Death Doula’s Out-of-Office Auto-Reply Email
Thanks for reaching out. I’ve stepped away from my office, but I’ll respond promptly when I return. To clear up any confusion, please be advised that:
- I don’t suffocate people with pillows.
- Hexes cost extra.
- I don’t know Florence + The Machine personally, although I have memorized her lyrics.
- I…
I’d Love to Pass Through the Strait of Hormuz, but No Worries If Not
I’m reaching out because, well, I’ve got this shipment of 2.1 million barrels of crude oil, and I would LOVE it if I could just squeeze on by and pass through the Strait of Hormuz? Honestly, no worries if not, though!
It’s just that the vast amount of crude oil…
Fisher-Price Is Pivoting to AI-Powered Autonomous Weapons Manufacturing
“After agreeing to sell all its assets last month for less than 1 percent of its previous $4 billion valuation, the shoe company Allbirds announced on Wednesday that it would ‘pivot its business’ to artificial intelligence.” — New York Times
We at Fisher-Price have always believed in…
As Much as I Appreciate the Trenchant Commentary on the American Healthcare System, I’m Here at The Pitt Because My Appendix Burst
Yikes, look at all these burnt-out doctors and over-extended nurses barely keeping up with the preventable ailments of a populace too busy working to take care of itself. I can plainly see the staff is so used to bending over backward, they won’t admit they’re broken. It’s a damning indictment…
Hairballing
Underground Artists is an ongoing comic by Ali Fitzgerald (Hungover Bear & Friends) that follows woodland creatures as they create art and search out whimsy in a bleak forest.
Henry VIII’s Dating App Profiles
Harry, 18
Only son, set to inherit a great fortune: land, absolute power, direct connection to God, and more. Seeking a slightly older woman, preferably of Spanish royal blood, willing to testify to papal court that she hasn’t already slept with my (deceased) older brother to whom she was previously,…
Transcript from the Meeting Where They Invented the Mammogram Machine
April 1965
Meeting to Discuss
Boob Cancer Problem
CARL: Gentlemen, I have some unfortunate news: We’ve just discovered that cancer can grow in women’s breasts.
TED: Oh no. That is going to ruin breasts for me.
FRANK: Me too.
CARL: As medical professionals, it’s incumbent upon…