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<p>When it can get a tummy ache.</p> <p>When it’s constantly running ten minutes late.</p> <p>When it says “I’m fine,” but it really isn’t fine.</p> <p>When it reschedules dinner dates to watch old episodes of <i>The O.C</i>.</p> <p>When it buys tickets to a Wilco concert and forgets to go.</p> <p>When it…

<p><strong>Q: What is in potato salad?</strong><br /> Okay. Deep breath. In this potato salad, there are potatoes. Mayonnaise. Paprika, obviously. Two giant celery chunks. One red onion diced. Three hard-boiled eggs. Two ants and three ant fragments. Jorts fringe. Over eight million dormant bacterial colonies per tablespoon of mayonnaise. One…

<p>Of course I’m happy to be back from maternity leave. Thanks for asking. Although in Scandinavia they get something like a year off to take care of a new baby, I am ready to hit the ground running, even though I can’t actually run because I’m still healing from getting…

<p><em><a href="https://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/underground-artists"><strong>Underground Artists</strong></a> is an ongoing comic by Ali Fitzgerald (<a href="https://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/hungover-bear-and-friends"><strong>Hungover Bear &amp; Friends</strong></a>) that follows woodland creatures as they create art and search out whimsy in a bleak forest.</em></p> <div class='break'>- - -</div><p style="text-align:center;"><img src="https://tendency-prod.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com/plqltkqnelvwmzhij1cgpil91rp9" alt="" /></p>

<p>1. They hope to make a quick exit.</p> <p>2. They want to reduce the chance of getting hit.</p> <p>3. They enjoy displaying their skill even if little is actually accomplished and it takes longer than necessary.</p> <p>4. It’s basically just become a habit now.</p> <p>5. New cameras and sensors make…

<p>Five big stars for these blueberry muffins. This delightful treat by Dana&#8217;s Delish blog has it all, including a crunchy crumble topping and a just-right burst of juicy berries. They look delicious—based on the picture Dana posted, that is. I haven’t actually made these.</p> <p>As soon as I saw this…

<p>My most enjoyable ice experience occurred sometime in the 1980s.</p> <p>On a hot day, my aunt made all the cousins get out of the pool for lunch. She passed out bologna-on-white-bread sandwiches, then dropped ice cubes into a line of waxy shell-pink plastic tumblers endemic to the &#8217;80s, maybe only…

<p>The Family Vacation is a great way to challenge yourself as a daughter, girlfriend, and human being.</p> <p>This six-week plan will help you build towards your ten-day trip to London with nine family members in tow, using a variety of exercises designed to prepare your body, mind, and last nerve.</p>…

<p style="text-align:center;"><i>With apologies to Ernest Hemingway.</i></p> <div class='break'>- - -</div><p>He was an old man who had started a war in a faraway Gulf, and he had gone one hundred and forty-three days now without reopening the Strait.</p> <p>After forty days, a tentative ceasefire had been reached. Then another one. Then…

<p><i>&#8220;A video just a few seconds long and accompanied by a simple question, &#8216;What am I looking at?&#8217; was enough to turn a Seattle raccoon into a global internet sensation this week. The viral critter—dubbed &#8216;Jimothy&#8217; by the internet—has a shorter spine than the average raccoon. His unusual appearance is…