Just my blogroll - BlogFlock

Jurassic Park, parkour and Five Nights At Freddy's meet in Terrible Lizards, in which you must go faster - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-10T10:08:34.000Z

"Jurassic parkour!" I bellowed to myself in pure delight, when first I read the trailer blurb for Terrible Lizards, announced yesterday. I can only applaud the immense willpower required to not make that the game's actual title. In this new first-person horror platformer from WDR Studios LLC, your car has broken down somewhere in the deserts of New Mexico.

It's 1992, so you can't just Whatsapp your mate who works at the garage to ask which cacti fluids make good engine oil. Instead, you must venture into a nearby abandoned roadside museum, Dalton's Dinos, which is full of gorgeous animatronic brontosaurs and suchlike. Oh, yeah - 'oooh, ahhh', that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming.

Iran Has Been an Imminent Threat to the U.S. for Forty-Seven Years - McSweeney’s

2026-03-09T23:45:00.000Z

“The threats posed by Iran to the United States, while potentially serious, weren’t imminent. So Trump and his officials have redefined ‘imminent’ to include distant, indirect, and theoretical risks. They’ve stretched the word beyond any semblance of its meaning.” — Will Saltan, The Bulwark

- - -

Listen up here, you jobless paid agitators. The US had to attack Iran because Iran has been an imminent threat to the US for forty-seven years. Some critics will probably say that a forty-seven-year-old threat doesn’t sound so imminent and that I don’t know what the word even means, or have never seen a dictionary, and don’t really understand how language works. To them I say: photosynthesis. Followed by: This is not the time for linguistic nitpicking.

It’s time for irresolute action amid crystal-clear confusion in the Middle East. We must come together as a united nation of fifty semi-independent states and respond to the plainly dubious danger with levelheaded panic and rain hellfire from the sky in the name of peace.

That’s why I’m so thankful that President Trump finally had the courage to act. For decades, presidents from both parties have stared at Iran with decisive hesitation, maintaining a policy of aggressive restraint toward a regime defined by anticipated unpredictability. They maintained a state of stable emergency, kicking the can down the road with urgent patience. Then, finally, President Trump picked up the can and instantly understood its limitations. He realized that the United States had a global obligation to its own self-interest to respond to the obvious ambiguity at the heart of the situation: that Iran is an uncertainty demanding immediate long-term action of forceful caution.

When you’re dealing with a consistently inconsistent adversary, you need well-planned improvisation and methodical spontaneity. Strategy requires orderly chaos, structured confusion, and the ability to pursue stable volatility without losing sight of the objective’s clear vagueness.

Take the nuclear issue. The president declared that Iran’s nuclear program had been destroyed while promising further strikes if they don’t stop its nuclear program. The media called this contradictory. But that only shows their ignorance of modern retaliatory deterrence. There was a confirmed speculation about a nuclear capability that could potentially definitely exist in the absence of evidence in Iran. That’s not a contradiction; that’s factual guesswork.

Then, of course, there are the missiles. Experts say Iran might someday develop weapons capable of reaching the United States. Maybe, maybe not. The question is: Do we risk it? Do we sleep at night wide awake with the incoming potentiality of war that may be coming our way in the near or far future? When hypothetical reality begins to take tangible shape in the minds of the people, responsible leadership must respond with deliberate impulsiveness, which is exactly what happened here over there.

The United States launched a strike designed to prevent escalation through controlled provocation, maintaining peace through careful aggression. The bottom line is that the world is a dangerous place full of systematic chaos and enemies whose intentions are transparently secret. In such an environment, the only responsible course is calculated recklessness, with a touch of rational insanity. That’s Trump all the way.

You cannot wait around forever for a hostile state to do something before you retaliate. You wouldn’t be able to get any decent war-like-but-technically-not-war operation going. Getting results requires the courage to pull back, act with confident doubt, and finally move forward with your back to the enemy. It’s the only way to avoid any kind of orderly catastrophe. And that is exactly what America did.

Because sometimes the only way to protect peace is to break it first. Sometimes the only way to maintain stability is to flip the table over. And sometimes the gravest danger of all is a nation that has been on the brink of attacking you for nearly half a century, and which might, at any moment, continue to be a potential confirmed danger.

Battlefield 6 developers face layoffs despite making one of the best-selling games of 2025 - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T19:08:54.000Z

Battlefield 6 was "the biggest launch in franchise history", EA told us back in October – indeed, it was the best-selling game in the US in 2025... so now it's time to lay off an unspecified number of those who made it, with cuts reportedly taking place across Criterion, Dice, Ripple Effect, and Motive Studios, though none of these studios face outright closure.

Resident Evil director Shinji Mikami has a new studio, Unbound, who are making original games for PC and console - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T18:34:40.000Z

Resident Evil director Shinji Mikami has founded a new studio, Unbound, after leaving The Evil Within creators Tango Gameworks in 2023. The studio has been lurking in the open for a while - it started business back in May 2023 - and exists to create "high-end", "original AAA" games, or at least, "AA" games that are trying very hard to look all big and blockblustery.

Crusader Kings 3 is getting a Roblox adaptation - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T17:44:04.000Z

All changed, changed utterly: a terrible beauty is born. Paradox Interactive are partnering with My Little Pony developers Magic Spark to make a Roblox game inspired by the legendarily mucky and backstabby strategy sim Crusader Kings 3. Out in early access this year, the currently untitled spin-off "captures the spirit of medieval intrigue in a fun, social environment", according to a press release.

"If we love this work, we have to protect it" - Hyper Light studio Heart Machine is now a "wall-to-wall" union - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T16:42:03.000Z

Developers at Hyper Light Drifter, Solar Ash and Possessor(s) studio Heart Machine are unionising. They've signed up with a local branch of the Communications Workers of America, in a "wall-to-wall unit [that] represents all frontline employees". This comes in the wake of layoffs, and takes inspiration from larger unionisation drives at megacorps like Microsoft.

How CHM Recovered The Unix v4 Tape - Irreal

2026-03-09T16:10:33.000Z

I’ve written a few posts [1, 2, 3] on the recently discovered Unix v4 tape. The tape is significant because it is the only known extant copy of Unix v4. Unix v4 is significant because it was the first copy of Unix to be written mostly in C. The TL;DR of those posts centers around the difficulty of reading the tape or even if it would be possible. In the end, of course, they did manage to read the tape and recover the code.

The Computer History Museum (CHM) has a very nice video featuring the people involved that recounts how hard recovering the tape was. It wasn’t possible to simply mount the tape on a drive and read it. Rather, they tapped into the electronics of the tape reader where the analog signals came off the tape head but before they were decoded into digital. The analog data was then processed by a program that recovered the digital information from the analog signals.

How they happened to have the technology to do this is an interesting story in itself and is told by the people who developed it along with the problem they were trying to solve when they did. We also hear from the people who discovered the tape and their evolving reactions to it. At first, they merely thought that finding the tape—an ancient technology at that time—was sort of cool but they didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until after a bit of research that they realized what they had and got in touch with the CHM.

The video is 16 minutes, 37 seconds long but it tells an interesting story and is worth a quarter hour of your time.

Xbox Full Screen Experience, Windows 11's gaming UI overhaul, is available to try now on Legion Go handhelds - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T15:17:47.000Z

Last year, Microsoft finally put some effort into making Windows 11 less dreadful for handheld PCs, launching Xbox Full Screen Experience - a stripped-back, more gamepad-friendly interface specifically for launching and installing games – on the Asus ROG Xbox Ally family. The same update has been strangely unforthcoming to other Steam Deck rivals, but it sounds like the Lenovo Legion Go series is finally getting access soon. There’s a preview build that Legion Go, Legion Go S, and Legion Go 2 owners can try right now, too.

A Nioh 3 boss made me so pissed off that I smashed a hole into my desk - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T14:46:27.000Z

A few weeks ago, I became so irked at a boss battle that I smashed my Xbox wireless controller upon my desk. A loud crunch resulted. My rage quickly melted into horror as I turned my head downwards and realised that lo and behold, my gaming table now had a hole in it.

It was the human form of Nioh 3's Takeda Shingen, so not even the toughest boss in the game - merely one who managed to vex me in a very particular manner on a trying day, resulting in the aforementioned cavity decorating the piece of Ikea MDF that rests atop two cabinets and holds up my computer.

2026-03-09 Emacs news - Sacha Chua

2026-03-09T14:45:21.000Z

If you use kubernetes-el, don't update for now, and you might want to check your installation if you updated it recently. The repo was compromised a few days ago.

I've occasionally wanted to tangle a single Org Mode source block to multiple places, so I'm glad to hear that ob-tangle has just added support for multiple targets. Niche, but could be handy. I'm also curious about using clime to write command-line tools in Emacs Lisp that handle argument parsing and all the usual stuff.

If you're looking for something to write about, why not try this month's Emacs Carnival theme of mistakes and misconceptions?

Enjoy!

Security:
- First (?) hacked Emacs package: kubernetes-el (Reddit)
Upcoming events (iCal file, Org):
- Emacs Berlin: In-Person-Only Emacs-Berlin Stammtisch https://emacs-berlin.org/ Tue Mar 10 1900 Europe/Berlin
- OrgMeetup (virtual) https://orgmode.org/worg/orgmeetup.html Wed Mar 11 0900 America/Vancouver - 1100 America/Chicago - 1200 America/Toronto - 1600 Etc/GMT - 1700 Europe/Berlin - 2130 Asia/Kolkata – Thu Mar 12 0000 Asia/Singapore
- Computing in freedom with GNU Emacs - Protesilaos Stavrou - FLOSS@Oxford https://ox.ogeer.org/event/computing-in-freedom-with-gnu-emacs-protesilaos-stavrou Thu Mar 12 1100 America/Vancouver - 1300 America/Chicago - 1400 America/Toronto - 1800 Etc/GMT - 1900 Europe/Berlin - 2330 Asia/Kolkata – Fri Mar 13 0200 Asia/Singapore
- Atelier Emacs Montpellier (in person) https://lebib.org/date/atelier-emacs Fri Mar 13 1800 Europe/Paris
- M-x Research: TBA https://m-x-research.github.io/ Wed Mar 18 0900 America/Vancouver - 1100 America/Chicago - 1200 America/Toronto - 1600 Etc/GMT - 1700 Europe/Berlin - 2130 Asia/Kolkata – Thu Mar 19 0000 Asia/Singapore
Beginner:
- Emacs: Buffers, Frames, and Windows, A Brief Introduction « Here's The Beef (@BeefGriller@dice.camp)
Emacs configuration:
- Elpaca Version 0.1.0 (Reddit) accepts use-package :vc keyword
- Sacha Chua: Emacs Lisp: defvar-keymap hints for which-key
- Re-imagining the Emacs user experience with Casual Suite (Reddit, Irreal)
  - Charles Choi: Casual now available on NonGNU ELPA (Irreal)
- Two Years of Emacs Solo: 35 Modules, Zero External Packages, and a Full Refactor (Reddit)
Emacs Lisp:
- cosmicz/clime: Build real CLI tools in pure Emacs Lisp. Declare commands, options, and args in a single form — clime handles parsing, –help, error messages, and dispatch. ./myapp.el just works. · GitHub (Reddit)
- Async link fetching in Emacs
- Progress (GNU Emacs Lisp Reference Manual) (@kickingvegas@sfba.social)
- Emacs Internal #02: Data First — Deconstructing Lisp_Object in C | The Cloudlet (HN)
- [19] Working on Canvas API Patch - 3/8/2026, 2:28:14 PM - Dyne.org TV
- [19] Working on Canvas API Patch - 3/8/2026, 3:49:58 PM - Dyne.org TV
Appearance:
- Emacs Redux: Customizing Font-Lock in the Age of Tree-sitter
- Protesilaos Stavrou: Emacs: four new themes are coming to the ‘doric-themes’
Navigation:
- My first meaningful hack of Emacs (proper isearch) - search with recenter after threshold
- Emacs Redux: expreg: Expand Region, Reborn (Reddit, Irreal)
- Emacs Redux: Transpose All The Things (Irreal)
Dired:
- Chris Maiorana: The Emacs Way: Copying Files
Writing:
- Wai Hon: Introducing markdown-indent-mode (Reddit)
Org Mode:
- Curtis McHale: Stop Mixing DONE and TODO in Org — Auto-Sort Like a Pro (YouTube 05:15)
- a niche emacs productivity system (28:31)
- Irreal: Abrams On Literate Programming Redux
- We Should Revisit Literate Programming in the Agent Era | silly business (lobste.rs)
- TAONAW - Emacs and Org Mode: Display images with Org-attach and org-insert-link quickly and effectively
- Latex preview on Emacs tty
- Toward the Org Mode future: distributed notebooks (Reddit)
- Jeremias-A-Queiroz/chrono-org: extract logbooks for sleek, Clockify-style web visualizations using Chart.js and org-publish (Reddit)
- naiquevin/clockwise: visualize time records from org clock entries (@naiquevin@fosstodon.org)
- (update) org-supertag 5.8 & 5.8.1 - Board, Graph UI & Relation Index Optimization
- Remember to set org-latx-hyperref-template to nil if you're writing an anonymous referee report
- lazyblorg updates: tag feeds, random articles on this day, list of external URLs (@publicvoit@graz.social)
- Thanos Apollo: Gnosis: Design Mistakes Roam-inspired note-taking system, 0.8.0 release notes
- Org development: ob-tangle.el: Support tangling a source block to multiple targets
Completion:
- gggion/let-completion.el: Let-binding values in Elisp completion · GitHub (Reddit)
- Sacha Chua: Expanding yasnippets by voice in Emacs and other applications
Coding:
- Emacs Redux: Mastering Compilation Mode
- Tip on using built-in vc-mode with C-x v (useful: C-x v d, C-x v v, C-x v L)
- James Cherti: pathaction.el: execute pathaction rules, the universal Makefile for the entire filesystem (Github)
- gcv/julia-snail: An Emacs development environment for Julia · GitHub
- [EMACS LAB #2] Do zero a uma IDE para programar em C (parte 2) (01:17:59)
- Marcin Borkowski: Lispy and Iedit
- Meta Redux: What’s Next for clojure-mode?
- The Emacs Cat: Emacs, Software Development, and LLM
Math:
- Why did I create ESR (my thoughts on ESS) | Teoten's blog (@teoten@social.linux.pizza)
Evil mode:
- Sid Kasivajhula: On “Tempo” in Text Editing - normal Emacs commands in insert mode (Reddit)
Fun:
- Launching Brogue from Emacs via transient
AI:
- Bozhidar Batsov: Emacs and Vim in the Age of AI (@bbatsov@hachyderm.io)
- simple LLM text and images meets org-mode
- Claude Code + Org Mode + Git + Hooks
- Transformei meu segundo cérebro em uma IA em 4 minutos (08:43) - with org-roam
- Alvaro Ramirez: Bending Emacs - Episode 13: agent-shell charting (YouTube 28:11, Reddit)
- James Dyer: Ollama Buddy - Web Search Integration (YouTube 02:12)
Community:
- My Emacs Misconceptions — Where Are The Wise Men? (@mikehoss@appdot.net)
- Protesilaos Stavrou: I talk with Joshua Blais about Emacs and life issues
- Org Social social network summary, 2.11 update with bugfixes
- Org Social - Reading (@andros@activity.andros.dev)
Other:
- koreader json to org: convert KOReader JSON highlights to Org mode, also here (@srijan@indieweb.social)
- For Mac users: pbcopy.el spawns two subprocesses on every C-y - suggests alternate implementation
Emacs development:
- emacs-devel:
  - notes on CEDET and EDE
  - Re: Sending `quit` to a batch Emacs process - Eli Zaretskii Thinking about how to interrupt batch processes
- New user option and function 'recentf-exclude-ignored-extensions'
- New user option vc-display-failed-async-commands
- Make 'frame-use-time' more reliable. (bug#80397)
- Rename 'any' to 'member-if' and deprecate 'cl-member-if'
- New command 'unfill-paragraph'
- Revert "Rename 'any' to 'member-if' and deprecate 'cl-member-if'"
- Add mirroring for special glyphs (bug#80440)
- Rename 'any' to 'member-if' and deprecate 'cl-member-if'
- Make tree-sitter thing navigation handle nested parsers
New packages:
- emacs-lisp-intro-es: ELisp intro manual in Spanish (GNU ELPA)
- hackernews-modern: Hacker News client with modern widget UI (MELPA)
- helm-eca: Helm UI for ECA chats/workspaces (MELPA)
- let-completion: Show let-binding values in Elisp completion (MELPA)
- magit-browse-commit: Browse pull/merge requests from magit-blame (MELPA)
- markdown-indent-mode: Dynamic indentation for Markdown (MELPA)
- mathprog-ts-mode: Major mode for the GNU MathProg modeling language (MELPA)
- md-ts-mode: Major mode for Markdown using tree-sitter (MELPA)
- mutype: Type into stillness (MELPA)
- org-eval: Execute named org-mode blocks on load/save (MELPA)
- php-fill: Additional fill commands for PHP code editing (GNU ELPA)
- rtf-view: View Rich Text Format files (MELPA)
- solo-rpg: Solo roleplaying games support functions (MELPA)
- yomikata: Annotates Japanese text with reading tooltips (MELPA)

Links from reddit.com/r/emacs, r/orgmode, r/spacemacs, Mastodon #emacs, Bluesky #emacs, Hacker News, lobste.rs, programming.dev, lemmy.world, lemmy.ml, planet.emacslife.com, YouTube, the Emacs NEWS file, Emacs Calendar, and emacs-devel. Thanks to Andrés Ramírez for emacs-devel links. Do you have an Emacs-related link or announcement? Please e-mail me at sacha@sachachua.com. Thank you!

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You can comment on Mastodon or e-mail me at sacha@sachachua.com.

Denuvo has been removed from DRAGON QUEST I & II HD-2D Remake - GamingOnLinux Latest Articles

2026-03-09T14:00:17.000Z

Haters of DRM will be happy about this one - as Square Enix appear to have removed Denuvo from DRAGON QUEST I & II HD-2D Remake.

Read the full article on GamingOnLinux.

[$] Inspecting and modifying Python types during type checking - LWN.net

2026-03-09T13:53:00.000Z

Python has a unique approach to static typing. Python programs can contain type annotations, and even access those annotations at run time, but the annotations aren't evaluated by default. Instead, it is up to external programs to ascribe meaning to those annotations. The annotations themselves can be arbitrary Python expressions, but in practice usually involve using helpers from the built-in typing module, the meanings of which external type-checkers mostly agree upon. Yet the type system implicitly defined by the typing module and common type-checkers is insufficiently powerful to model all of the kinds of dynamic metaprogramming found in real-world Python programs. PEP 827 ("Type Manipulation") aims to add additional capabilities to Python's type system to fix this, but discussion of the PEP has been of mixed sentiment.

digiKam 9.0.0 released - LWN.net

2026-03-09T13:13:11.000Z

Version 9.0.0 of the digiKam photo-management system has been released. "This major version introduces groundbreaking improvements in performance, usability, and workflow efficiency, with a strong focus on modernizing the user interface, enhancing metadata management, and expanding support for new camera models and file formats." Some of the changes include a new survey tool, more advanced search and sorting options, as well as bulk editing of geolocation coordinates.

CoolerControl v4 adds new security features, brings hardware support and more - GamingOnLinux Latest Articles

2026-03-09T13:07:57.000Z

Monitor and manage various different cooling devices on Linux with CoolerControl. Version 4.0.0 brings a bunch more advanced features for you.

Read the full article on GamingOnLinux.

Security updates for Monday - LWN.net

2026-03-09T13:06:10.000Z

Security updates have been issued by AlmaLinux (delve, git-lfs, and postgresql16), Fedora (cef, chezmoi, chromium, coturn, erlang-hex_core, firefox, gh, gimp, k9s, keylime, keylime-agent-rust, libsixel, microcode_ctl, nextcloud, nss, perl-Crypt-URandom, pgadmin4, php-zumba-json-serializer, postgresql16-anonymizer, prometheus, python-asyncmy, python3.10, python3.11, python3.9, staticcheck, valkey, and vim), SUSE (chromedriver, chromium, coredns, expat, freetype2-devel, gitea-tea, go1.24-openssl, go1.25-openssl, grpc, gstreamer-rtsp-server, gstreamer-plugins-ugly,, helm, jetty-annotations, kubeshark-cli, libaec, libblkid-devel, libsoup, libxml2, libxslt, NetworkManager-applet-strongswan, podman, python-joserfc, python-Markdown, python-pypdf2, python-tornado, python-uv, python311-Django, python311-joserfc, python311-nltk, roundcubemail, and valkey), and Ubuntu (python3.4, python3.5, python3.6, python3.7, python3.8, python3.9, python3.10, python3.11, python3.12, python3.13, python3.14).

“He doesn’t have a heart, but he has heartstrings”: The making of Nick Valentine, Fallout’s best-loved companion - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T12:46:29.000Z

When Emil Pagliarulo was growing up in South Boston, he lived in fear of Whitey Bulger: a local crime boss who had been shaped not only by street gangs but Alcatraz, and a stint in the CIA’s mind control program, MKUltra.

"He was basically the boogeyman," Pagliarulo says. "He was the evil bad guy. You didn’t know where he was or even what he looked like, but you knew he was out there. I’m 10 years old, and I know this name."

Decades later, as Bethesda Game Studios shifted into full production on Fallout 4, Pagliarulo drew on those memories to bring a post-apocalyptic Boston to life. "The game was missing something, as far as one of the overall themes," he says. "I remember having a conversation with Todd Howard that there should be this overriding sense of paranoia that people have, and they don’t know who to trust."

You can grab the Mafia: Trilogy, Far Cry Primal, Pentiment and more in this game bundle - GamingOnLinux Latest Articles

2026-03-09T12:46:29.000Z

The ESA All-Star Alliance Humble Bundle is live and includes a really great set of games to add to your collection including the Mafia: Trilogy.

Read the full article on GamingOnLinux.

Why I, Lucifer, Rejected a Deal for Donald Trump’s Soul - McSweeney’s

2026-03-09T12:00:00.000Z

I’ve made contracts with every sort of lowlife. I’ve been to the crossroads. I’ve been down to Georgia. I’ve signed agreements with legions of lawyers, living, as I do, in the details, and ended up with the souls of everyone except Daniel Webster, that prig-tastic blowhole.

But Donald Trump? Not worth it.

Maybe you thought I already owned Trump’s soul. How else could someone so gobsmackingly incompetent fail upwards all the way to a second presidential term? But social media, misogyny, and the everloving shitshow known as the also gobsmackingly incompetent “Democratic Party”—that’s on you, humans. As folks in our Fifth Circle say about Trump, ” Wow, does his shit stink.” And that place reeks so bad, the demons wear gas masks.

By the way, there’s an easy tell if I’ve got the pink slip to someone’s soul: if suddenly they get something that makes no sense. Like Indiana winning the national football championship, Kash Patel getting a law-enforcement job, or Travis Kelce getting hitched to Taylor Swift. Trust me, the G-man and I were throwing back some beers, and He said He made that dame out of anybody’s league, even for Kelce, an incredibly hunky, charismatic world-class athlete with a schlong like an Owala bottle.

Anyway, after his inauguration last year, Trump started pestering me for a “deal”: his soul for a Nobel Prize. And I considered signing on, because all I’d have to do is have my people repurpose the text of a notarized contract I already had lying around, substituting “Nobel” for “Oscar” and “Donald Trump” for “Ben Affleck.” Which was good because I was down half my staff, what with the other half pulling double shifts and preparing an entirely new Circle for Stephen Miller.

But then I started thinking about a contract where I’d give up something to get Trump’s soul. What was my value proposition here? With Trump slathering everything with gaudy gold paint, turning ICE into a super-charged federal employment program for neo-nazi gun nuts, and by comparison making Ted Cruz look nearly sane and reasonable, what am I gaining now on paper that I’m not getting regardless when that bile-hearted bastard keels over? Nobody plays the long game like me, and let’s face it, everything about Trump’s pallor, posture, and speech patterns screams “past the fourth quarter’s two-minute warning.”

I might still have pulled the trigger. Trump is super-popular down here, and not only with the three “Jeffs”: Davis, who wants to shake his hand; Epstein, who wants to reunite with his main man; and Dahmer–that guy’s just plain whack. The demons in Circle Three are licking their poisoned-saliva lips, devising Trump’s punishments. Not to let the cat out of the bag, but it will likely involve a gag, a treadmill, and the Squad’s Bluesky feeds.

But then Trump ups his ask. Greenland? What the ACTUAL fuck? Not like I couldn’t do it—I’ve got an autograph book sporting every conquistador’s John Hancock—but, dude, make up whatever’s left of your FoxNews-addled brain. And really, if the G-man wanted that, He’d have festooned the joint with lagoons, put fool’s gold everywhere, and called it “Orangeland.”

Somehow, Donald thinks he’s sweetening the pot by offering to throw me a presidential pardon. What use is a get-out-of-jail-free card to me, Ruler of Hell? You’ll have a hard time finding anyone in the whole friggin’ universe less against either crime or punishment. Still, just to dick Trump around, I dared him to pardon the biggest criminal he’s got, which he actually goes ahead and does, tossing one to former Honduran-president-cum-drug-dealer Juan Orlando González, unwittingly helping me make good on that guy’s contract with me (four-dimensional chess, baby!). Why should I bargain for something that cheeseburger-stuffed cretin is stupid enough to give away? “Art of the deal,” my spiked tail; if that’s Trump’s idea of using leverage, I wouldn’t bet on him to negotiate for quiet time at a mime convention.

The last straw was Trump insisting the contract be enforceable under US law, meaning any disputes would end up in the Supreme Court. Forget it. If anybody is Trump’s useful idiot, it’s John “Presidential Immunity” Roberts and his merry band of kowtowers. I’d no sooner trust those clowns for a fair shake than shove my sensitive, tender balls into an industrial-scale, single-auger trash compactor.

Enough’s enough, I’m not going in for Trump’s mishegas. I told him he can “Truth” all he wants, but he’s not getting the Nobel or Greenland. I’ll see his ass soon enough. Besides, I’ve got an insurance plan. How do you think that putz Vance got to be Vice President?

A Steam Machine update reignited release date fears, but Valve say the new hardware is still shipping this year - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T11:57:12.000Z

Valve have reworded a Steam blog post after its original, unsure-sounding text left open the possibility of further long-term delays to the new Steam Machine. The 2025 Year in Review article only briefly touches on the Machine, as well as the upcoming Steam Controller redesign and the Steam Frame VR headset, but its previous phrasing of "We hope to ship in 2026" – accompanied by a reminder of ongoing and widespread memory shortages – did have the kind of noncommittal yeah-we’ll-seeism that one might apply when responding to an unwanted dinner party invitation. The grim possibility of another delay, this time into 2027, hung heavy.

Now, however, that passage has been replaced with a more confident and definitive commitment to a 2026 release. "We shared recently that there have been challenges with memory and storage shortages," Valve’s update reads, "but we will be shipping all three products this year."

This week in PC games: John Carpenter's Toxic Commando, Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly Remake, and a myth-inspired match-3 game where you combine three dogs into Cerberus - Rock Paper Shotgun Latest Articles Feed

2026-03-09T11:54:44.000Z

Sadly, I must report that Edwin has once again been eaten by the Maw. I want to say it was through some devious ruse but, reader, it was not. As Edwin worked the gaps between the Maw's canines with the 8-foot toothpick, one of the Maw's smaller tentacles slipped behind our news editor and tapped him on the shoulder. Edwin turned his head. It was only for a moment, but it was all that was needed to gobble him up.

Not to worry, Edwin will surely have worked his way out of one of the Maw's orifices (orifici?) and be back on duty shortly.

In his stead, let me provide this week's delivery of games.